Thursday, May 19, 2011

Pitty Pie

My rages had become more controlable. But how was I going to contain myself around Andre I now. "Oh" I thought, he is unemployed so maybe I should stop by. But then I was constantly going back and forth with myself about how I should go about this. So I decided to bring up something about the church. I looked at myself in the mirror and praticed my speech over and over again. " Andre?!. I didn't know you here. Oh yeah, I just thought I would stop bu do you have a moment?" Damn no thats not good enough. " Andre. I know a lot people were offended by my last sermon. Were you? I really need a nother opinion. You would be honest." What if he's not honest. I can think of a million things to say in the church but can't even figure out how to get through Andre's front door. I took a rest from my attempts to talk to come up with ways to talk to Andre and read all the hate mail I had recently received. There was nothing else to do and nobody was out and about it was such a rainy day. As it stormed terribly I knew that there would be nothing else to do besides read all the shitty e-mails I received. And then all the sudden my noise latched on to a very strong distinctive sweet smell. I tried to ignore it. I clicked on my inbox and there it went again that smell. Pie? I hadn't had pie in so long. I thought " what could one time hurt? " I alreadt felt overweight but I couldn't help looking foolish and dashing down to Deena's like a kid in a candy store. It seems I was not the only one to gravitate to this delicious smell of pie. It looked like everyone had gotten over my sermon from Sunday everyone greeted me as Father and not one single person mentioned to tell me how much I sucked. I was so prepared to be scrutinized but it never happened even Yames Miller and Kent Williams had good conversation to make about the delicious pie. I knew i was a fat ass but the smell of the pie entering my nose and mouth caused me to do an uncontrolable chew motion with my lips and jaw. Trying to control the urge I could no longer so I was so happy Yames had gotten his pie and I was next. I looked at the menu and glancing over a bagillion options to the menu and there stood out my favorite pie fillings: cherry, peach, and apple. Rushing to eat every bite I pulled out my wallet and payed for the pies as fast as I could. Even the receipt seemed as though it was taking ages to print. I grabbed the receipt and rushed out the door and ran home to enjoy my peach pie with ice cream. As I sat down and was about to throw my receipt away, I noticed writing on the back of the receipt. And then in an instant all my joy for pie died. " I know who you are besides the father?" What did this mean and why hadn't this person called me or why are they sending me this message. Think. THink. THINK! I was scared. I scared as hell. Nervious and ready to vomit at any moment. Now everyone would know. So instantly I waited to come back to the diner later that night. I had seen this waitress before but wasn't for sure when her shift was over? Did she even write the note? How did she write the note if she did? Then in an instant I realized anyone could have written the note on the receipt while I was fumbling through my wallet to find my cash. I knew I should have had it out already. I thought of things to say and maybe a reason to leave Watershed but what would those reasons be? Is this even that serious? I'm probably over reacting. Someone's trying to get back at me for the sermon. I knew someone was gonna bitch about it but this is quite the tactic to scare me shitless. I was sweating so hard that the fingerprints from my thumbs were making the receipt soggy. My heart literally beated through my throat and I was taking in every little breath. First at 12 I was going to run down to the diner and hopefully see the waitress there. That was my only hope. I stared at the clock so hard that I was not going to leave from its sight until midnight. After dosing off for about an hour I noticed it was 12:05 a.m. Shit. I rushed. I left my robe and any clothing I had on went with me including my house shoes. As I entered the diner nervously, I asked one of the waitresses where their co-worker might be. I had no idea of her name but were able to describe her intensively. The waitress looked at me extremely puzzled. Like I had described a total stranger. " You know the girl that had extremely light eye shadow, a gap between her front two teeth, skinny, deep blue eyes anf bitten nails." I was able to say the part the bitten nails because I had focused so hard on that receipt so I could get to my pie. The waitress had nothing to say. " Try tomorrow hun, maybe she's around and I am unfamiliar with your description" But I had described her perfectly. After calming down I knodded in aggrement and walked out. My journey home felt like miles and when I got home I said I would give a couple more days and see if anything would come about and then react. I never went to sleep and layed there in my bed until my alarm went off at 7:30 a.m. This was the only thing that could distract of my love from Andre because it was the absolute focus above anything of that day. And then that stupid faucet that dripped all night, began to look more appeasing to the eye. As I sat there and closed the drain to the sink, I saw the water pour and flow over the top of the sink. I was ready to go. I would rather be with God than endure all the shame from the people of Watershed. Moving seemed like a better idea but as I thought about it, my pastoral pay was not enough to support a new home. I closed my eyes and was slowing preparing to dunk my head into the sink when suddenly an e-mail notification appeared on my laptop.

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