Friday, March 25, 2011

Not My Problem

My faucet drips all through the night. I knew I should have called the nearest plumber in town but for some reason I can never seem to reach for the nearest yellow pages and call. I think because an annoyance is the one thing that soothes me through the night. As I woke at 7:30 I realized there were sounds of emergency vehicles and much catastrophe happening outside Watershed Heights. Even though I could tell this hell of a mess was no problem of mine, when you give yourself over to Christ as a pastor every problem in the world becomes your own. Every single person becomes my problem. When you are demanded to be with a family when they have lost a loved one or a husband and wife having marital problems, as much as I enjoy my job it is greatly overwhelming at many times. I listen and I listen carefully. All the situations different but all the questions are the same."Father? What should I do? What is God trying to tell me?" I answer every question and they treat me as though I am God. I am not your God I am your pastor, a messenger of the Lord. I give inspirational advice and read from passages that relate to those seeking hope. Any hope. When I stare and listen to the faucet water every five minutes dripping slowly I stare and listen because although it seems to just drip as any annoying faucet would, I find counsel and meditation in it. Through all the madness and sin of Watershed Heights, As the loud sirens of the police cars quickly rushing by and Andre yelling at his kids constantly on the floor below as he swears and curses at them until all the filthiness of his words has run out, I stare at the faucet and can hear its drips become louder over all the madness. Although I am living life, meaning I have a heart and can inhale and exhale oxygen through my lungs, I find all the subtle things in life to cling to so I can be here and be somewhere else. Now this is not the case of ADD or any other similar disfunctional disorder. Everyone in church seeks comfort in me, and I have to seek comfort in someone other than myself. We're you hoping i would say God. He's there and he hears me but I know that he is watching my me holding me higher than the rest knowing that I should not be up there everyday spreading his word. I know he will find out, but as long as I do not tell him then he will never know my secret in my mind. When I see Andre in the first row I stare at him knowing that there is a lonely poor soul that weeps deep within. He comes to church every Sunday. He appears to be a dedicated church goer but something does not seem to be in his favor. Sometimes the devil can be right in your face but that does not mean that you can see him plain as day. He wears a disguise such as the one Andre wears everyday he comes to church. Andre is not the Devil, but the Devil is surrounding him. His anger toward his children make it inevitable that something is not right. I guess my congregation is hoping that I will not hear whats being said behind these walls but I can hear every peep of a word

1 comment:

  1. When Kalenna arrived at the church, Pastor Dan was already preaching, so she took a seat in the back of the church next to a mother and her young child to keep from disrupting the pastor at work. One of the first thoughts that crept into her mind about Pastor Dan was how attractive he was. Forget what he was preaching about. He was probably one of the most attractive men Kalenna had seen here in America. As she began to listen to him, his intelligent words of encouragement made him even more attractive. But who was she kidding? A man like that would never have any interest in a woman like her, Kalenna began to think to herself.

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